Let’s face it, even for the most dedicated voters, standing in line waiting to vote can be boring, unless you happened to be at this polling station in Arkansas. You may think of Arkansas as a conservative state, but if this wacky sign is any indication, they are having some wild times over there.
p.s. I’m convinced many if not most “wacky signs” that get circulated these days are fake, but as I recall, this one was posted by an Arkansas friend who took the photo at the polling station. 
I have a judge friend who’s a stickler for grammar. Today, she sent this little gem along: If you ever doubted the importance of the correct placement of prepositional phrases to the meaning of a sentence … The following is drawn from a motion sent to me today: “More significantly, the Husband attempted to drive a vehicle with the minor children in a clearly intoxicated state ….” Oh my, let’s hope not! 
Suffocation warning for the tiniest of tots. If you take a close look at them, nearly all plastic bags in the U.S. contain a suffocation warning. In fact, it’s difficult to find plastic bags without such a warning. Because most adults presumably know not to put plastic bags over their heads, these warnings are aimed primarily at people with children, especially babies. Because children, and especially babies can’t or don’t read warnings, the warnings are directed at their caretakers. The risk of suffocation from a plastic bag seems like an obvious risk and there is no duty to warn of obvious risks under U.S. products liability law. But 
As a professor of tort and products liability law, I appreciate that manufacturers often feel the need to warn consumers of obvious risks, even though products liability law does not impose a duty to warn of obvious risks. First, it’s safer from a liability standpoint for the product maker/seller because it avoids the possibility that a jury might, in hindsight after an injury, disagree as to whether a particular risk was obvious. Moreover, warning of obvious risks serves a re-enforcement/reminder function. The downside of being inundated with warnings of obvious risks is the “dilution effect.” When consumers are bombarded with warnings of risks that are patently obvious, it dilutes the 
An important rule for young lawyers to know is that it’s essential to counsel clients to wear appropriate attire to court hearings. Sometimes clients will come to court, for example, without wearing a suit or tie, but only in Zoom land, and possibly Florida, would a client show up bare-chested and wearing only a bathing suit. A Florida judge friend received an abject apology from an attorney after her client “showed up” for his final divorce hearing (via Zoom) so attired. The lawyer assured the judge that they always go over with clients the appropriate attire for court hearings. To her credit, the judge took it all in stride, responding 
We love wacky product warnings at lawhaha.com, but as a Torts and Products Liability professor, I’ve never been a fan of product sellers trying to be funny in their product warnings or instructions. See, for example, here, here, and here. But I concede that these “Guarantees” for a foam boogie board are pretty cute, including that it is guaranteed “to be unsafe in some way if you really work at it.” 
This is one of those warnings that may sound silly, but really isn’t. I wouldn’t be surprised if a whole lot of people have tried to use kitty litter as a traction aid for icy walkways: Do not use this product as a traction aid because product becomes slippery and slick when wet. I ding the seller one point for being redundant because “slippery” and “slick” are the same thing, but not a bad warning. I have a bigger problem with the instructional photos. Does people really need illustrations to show how to pour cat litter?
Maybe I have a litigious nature or have simply seen too many products liability cases, but I have a feeling that people who are injured because their airbag didn’t inflate in a collision are not going to be appeased by this assertion in the automobile product manual: The fact that your air bag did not inflate in a collision does not mean something is wrong with the air bag system. Oh, I beg to differ … In all seriousness, I was once appointed as a Special Master for discovery in a federal products liability case involving just this issue: a woman lost control of her vehicle and careened 
NOT Black’s Law Dictionary From the cold lands of Minnesota, comes lawyer Adam Johnson and his work-in-progress satirical legal dictionary found here, titled Deuce-Ace’s Law Dictionary.” It contains helpful definitions like this one: adultery. 1. to act upon instinct. 2. a proximate cause of manslaughter. Always happy to promote legal humor, I asked Adam to write an introduction to his work: When one contemplates the idea of a legal dictionary – which one probably is not in the habit of doing of a quiet evening, but whatever – Black’s invariably comes to mind. That profuse work by Henry Campbell Black continues to dominate the legal lexicographical field. 
“One of the steepest early challenges new law students face is having to learn an entire new vocabulary. In the old days, …” 
After two years of extensive research that included interviewing more than 150 lawyers, my new book (with coauthors Chris Coughlin and Nancy Levit), Law Jobs: The Complete Guide, has been published by West Academic Publishing. Here’s a description: Choosing a legal career that fits a student’s personality, skillset, and aspirations is the most important and difficult decision a law student faces, yet only a small number of law schools incorporate career-planning into their curriculums. Law Jobs: The Complete Guide seeks to help fill the gap. Law Jobs is a comprehensive, reader-friendly guide to every type of legal career. Packed with authoritative research and featuring comments from more 
The actual wire used to set up the shotgun trap in Katko v. Briney Lawhaha.com has uncovered new details—and a Torts artifact—regarding the infamous “Iowa spring-gun case”: Katko v. Briney. Most law students read and remember this unusual case, in which plaintiff Marvin Katko broke into Ed and Bertha Briney’s abandoned farmhouse in Eddyville, Iowa, in search of old jars and bottles he considered to be antiques, only to have his leg blown off by a shotgun wired to a bed in one of the bedrooms. (I once assigned my students to write poems about the case and collected them in an Oregon Law Review article, Read more… 
Yesterday I taught my first Torts class of the year and, as always, we began with Garratt v. Dailey, 279 P.2d 1091 (Wash. 1955), where an elderly woman sued a five-year-old boy for battery for pulling a chair out from under her as she was (allegedly) trying to sit in it. The main issue was whether the Brian Dailey, the five-year-old, had what is called “belief intent” (aka “substantial certainty” intent) that the plaintiff would try to sit where the chair had been previously situated in the backyard. But an interesting side issue was whether a five-year-old is capable of forming the requisite “intent” to commit an intentional The Ohio State University has filed a patent application for the word “THE”. What THE … !! oops, sorry, don’t want to get a cease and desist letter. But it’s no joke. See Trademark application No. 88571984, filed Aug. 8, 2019. Here’s an article about it. I knew it would happen someday. Eighteen years ago, in a Harmless Error column in the American Bar Association Journal, I published an intellectual property parody titled The© Controversy, about a made-up cease and desist letter I received claiming a copyright in the word “the”. Here’s an excerpt from the column: The letter asserts that Mr. Ug—allegedly a Homo 
Many of my friends have posted this picture of a warning label on a doormat on Facebook and tagged me in it because they know I love wacky warnings. This one definitely qualifies as wacky, but intentionally so. All of the comments mention how hilarious it is. It is amusing, but I have a different take on it. I think it’s a ridiculously dumb warning from a legal standpoint. I concede that doormats are not very dangerous, and the probability of them causing injury is low. Admittedly, it’s not quite like putting funny warnings on a chainsaw or ladder. 
No surprise, I’m a fan of humor. One of my most reliable defense mechanisms to life’s dark moments is to find humor in the situation. I’m also a big proponent of using humor in the arena of public speaking, although I’ve written about the risks of doing so. (See Andrew J. McClurg, The Risks of Being Funny, GPSolo, Apr. 2003, at 60.) Humor in a court proceeding, however, is a different ballgame. Starting out my career as a law clerk to a federal district judge, I saw humor, usually unplanned and spontaneous, work well in court on several occasions. But in an excellent ABA Journal article, Texas attorney Available for the first time in one place, below is the complete inventory of McClurg’s Harmless Error humor column in the American Bar Association Journal, which ran monthly from October 1997-December 2001. Many of these columns have been reprinted elsewhere. Caroline Kennedy included Santa Suit (Jan. 2000) in her anthology, A Family Christmas, where it appears alongside works by the likes of Mark Twain, Robert Frost, and Shakespeare. (Use the Contact link for permissions requests.) Read Reader Praise for Harmless Error. All fifty columns appear below. Learn more about Harmless Error and get a clickable list of all fifty columns by title and date Read more… 
People frequently ask me, What makes for a good lawyer? “Problem-solving skills” is the first answer that comes to mind. Do you possess them? Take this test and see. Problem: A high school baseball game is scheduled. Unfortunately, the field is wet from heavy rain. How do you solve this problem? Answer choices: (a) Play the game on the wet field because what’s the big deal with that? (b) Recognizing that a wet field risks injury to players, make your best efforts to squeegee off or soak up the water. (c) Recognizing that (b) would be too much freaking work, cancel the game and reschedule it for when the 
Not a legal warning, but an interesting notice posted on a lock box at a local medical facility: “No Drugs or Money Kept in Box; Blood and Urine Specimens Only.” Probably effective unless, of course, it’s encountered by someone actually looking to steal blood or urine samples, in which case it’s an invitation. Of course, that’s silly because no one would ever want to steal a blood or urine sample. Or would they? (Spoiler alert: The link leads to an article about a man who stole his wife’s urine to submit as a sample, leading to the revelation the man was pregnant.)
That’s what you might be saying to your new “Mini Garment Steamer” if you read the User’s Manual and come across this one-day warranty: “If your product has a manufacture defect, we want to improve your using experience by giving you a replacement or refund. For a minimum of 1 day after the date purchase, we promise to cover any manufacture defects your product may have.” (Bold added.) There are some other warranties in the manual, so this appears to be more a case of poor drafting than an effort to limit consumer remedies. After all, it doesn’t say a “maximum” of one 
Not Randy Maniloff Randy Maniloff has penned an interesting piece for the Wall Street Journal on what he calls the “Halloween Exception” to established legal principles. Randy–a leading expert on Halloween law, the “baseball rule,” and other legal topics too numerous to list–discusses several instances where judges have departed from traditional legal principles to facilitate Halloween traditions. In other words, on Halloween you can get away with mischief that would be criminal or tortious in other seasons. Fascinating. Here’s one of his examples: It’s a great read! Check it out. In other Halloween-related legal news, a former student explored the legal implications of insurance 
This is one of those head-scratchers that leaves you wondering whether it’s fake news because it just seems too bizarre, even by wacky warning standards. Let’s assume, probably justifiably, that there are indeed people who eat gum from urinals. Are there really enough of them to warrant a laminated “Caution” sign? And do people really need a warning not to do it? “Dang, I was going to eat that piece of gum someone spit out that maybe a hundred people have peed on. It’s a good thing I saw the sign in time!” The image appears to be real (that is, not photoshopped), but I don’t know where it 
After reading a rundown on the day’s latest depressing news, it was a true joy to come across this Vox article about this real article accepted for publication in an “academic journal.” In academia, it’s publish or perish. Good teaching is important, but it won’t get you promoted or tenured without publishing. To assist academics on their climb up the steps of the ivory tower, professors in all disciplines are constantly bombarded with email from dubiously credentialed sources offering to publish their books and articles. As the Vox article explains, this classic work, Get Me Off Your Fucking Mailing List, was actually accepted for publication by something 
Waive your rights to warm up your dinner. One of my students sent me this tweet from Morten Nielsen regarding a new oven requiring on the touch screen that, before using the product, the happy new appliance owner must waive their legal rights by agreeing to the “Terms of Service.” Even in just the snippet of text visible in the picture, the user is assuming risks and waiving legal claims. Stripping away the legalese, before you can warm up a pizza, you have to give up some legal rights. A “contract of adhesion” is a form contract where the party being asked to sign it has no 
I’ve always heard that folks in Virginia are nice, and here’s proof, a warning sign to criminals in the window of a Sonic restaurant near the Norfolk airport: Attention Robbers Time Delay Safe Have a nice Day. I take issue with the unnecessary capitalization of “Day,” and I suppose if they were super-nice, they could have put an exclamation point at the end instead of period. But this is quibbling. 
Like the old Certs commercial, “It’s two, two signs in one!” Were they trying to save money by combining these two unrelated instructions on one sign? Or maybe they really were telling people with diarrhea to keep the gate closed, especially the sphincter gate. (And do they really think people who have had diarrhea within the past two weeks are going to follow this instruction?) –Thanks to Randy Maniloff. 
As faculty advisor to a law review, I deliver opening remarks at the law review’s annual banquet. Mostly these consist of giving thanks to the graduating law review members for their dedication and hard work. They devote thousands of hours each year to painstakingly selecting, editing, formatting, proofing and–of course, cite-checking–scholarly articles. Cite-checking requires mastering The Bluebook: A Uniform System of Citation, a ridiculously-but-addictively complex 560-page manual of rules for referencing legal authorities. (See The World’s Greatest Law Review Article.) This year I tried to add levity to my remarks with some words of wisdom incorporating every “introductory signal” from Rule 1.2 of The Bluebook and throwing in 
Warning: Do Not Put Hands in Fire An age-old products liability dilemma for manufacturers: What will a court consider, in hindsight, to be an “obvious” product danger? Generally, under U.S. law, there is no legal duty for product makers or sellers to warn of product dangers that are obvious? Why? Because if they’re obvious, people will already know about them and the warning won’t accomplish anything. Google dictionary synonyms for obvious include plain to see, evident, apparent, conspicuous, prominent, noticeable,” even unmissable. But what’s obvious to most people may not be obvious to everyone, so why not go ahead and warn, even when it seems obvious, such 
A rolling tort doubling as a mobile movie theater. “Rolling Torts” is the label Lawhaha gives to overloaded vehicles presenting dangers on America’s roads and highways. They’re everywhere. On the one hand, you have to admire the ingenuity and ability of people to load moving-truck sized packages onto ordinary passenger vehicles. On the other hand, if one of these items breaks loose, especially on a highway, the risk to other drivers and passengers is severe. (Of course, technically speaking, “Spot the Tort” entries are actually potential torts. An actual tort doesn’t occur until the risk manifests itself in injury.) 
U.S. District Judge Steven “Not So” Merryday denied an Assistant U.S. Attorney’s (AUSA) motion to delay a trial because a witness employed by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) had prepaid for a trip to view the August 21, 2017 solar eclipse in totality. The court reasoned that the delay would “subordinate the time and resources of the court … to one person’s aspiration to view a ‘total’ solar eclipse for no more than two minutes and forty-two seconds.” Can’t take issue with the result, but instead of just saying that, the magistrate–perhaps seeking his own two minutes and forty-two seconds of fame–penned a silly too-cute-for-words Last week I posted the reverse of this post, Non-Tortious Neighbors Are Good Neighbors, then I came upon this spikey little trap. As you can see, it’s right on the sidewalk. I’m no expert, but I think the caution tape is supposed go around the hazard, not beneath. And could you at least point the long rusty nails in the pedestrians’ direct path down? 
When new students arrive at law school, they receive a ton of advice from upper-level students. 2Ls and 3Ls love giving advice to new students. If they can do it at an event where alcohol is being consumed, a state close to nirvana is achieved. But how do incoming students distinguish between good advice and bad advice? Here’s a tip I give in 1L of a Ride. After mentioning that upper-level students sometimes give really good advice, I say: But upper-level students also give some really bad advice, much of which involves ways to cut corners, so be wary of what they tell you. Although 
Do you ever take strolls around your neighborhood and find yourself appalled by the risky, tortious conditions residents leave on the sidewalks in front of their homes. A couple weeks ago I passed a house with a pile of boards spilling onto the sidewalk bearing long, upward-turned rusty nails sticking out. It’s a popular neighborhood where people like to walk, including at night. I was tempted to knock on the door and explain duties of care and premises liability, but only had an hour, so instead just moved the worst offending boards off the sidewalk. Then a couple days ago I came upon my new favorite neighbor’s house. This
1L of a Ride: A Well-Traveled Professor’s Roadmap to Success in the First Year of Law School (West 4th ed. 2021) Assigned as recommended or required reading at law schools throughout the country, 1L of a Ride provides a step-by-step navigational guide to both academic and emotional success in law school’s crucial first year. Covered topics in the newly updated fourth edition include: top student fears, the first-year curriculum, effective class participation, types of law students and professors, case-briefing, note-taking, course-outlining, legal research and writing, exam preparation, essay and multiple-choice exam strategies, stress management, the impact of law school on outside relationships, special challenges faced by part-time 
From Madrid comes a new pictorial instruction sign (not technically a “warning sign”) on public buses prohibiting “manspreading.” I was not familiar with this term. I thought maybe it was something like this, which I wholeheartedly agree should be banned: But that’s not it. It’s this: Okay, this might be worse. Manspreading is the practice of some men to sit with their legs spread on a bus seat, crowding people around them, particularly women, apparently. Whether this is done to protect personal space or intentionally invade someone else’s is not clear from the article. But as the question always arises with pictorial communicative signs, does
Excited to report that after two years of work, the shiny new third edition of 1L of a Ride: A Well-Traveled Professor’s Roadmap to Success in the First Year of Law School was just released by West Publishing Company. It’s available here on Amazon. Check out the 148 reviews for 1L of a Ride averaging 5-stars. 1L of a Ride is assigned as required or recommended reading at law schools throughout the country. [Note: Because it just came out, it’s listed temporarily out of stock on Amazon, but that should be fixed quickly. In the meantime, you can always order it directly from the publisher here.] Couldn’t have 
The American Bar Association Law Student Division posted my webinar, The Top Five Habits of Successful Law Students, on YouTube. Check it out for some good advice. Here’s the accompanying description: In this webinar, Professor Andrew McClurg, author of the popular law school prep book, 1L of a Ride: A Well-Traveled Professor’s Roadmap to Success in the First Year of Law School, seeks to inspire new students to “Be Excited!” about their new adventure and get them on the right track from day one by explaining his C.R.E.D.O. for law school success: the top five habits of successful law students (Consistent, Rigorous, Efficient, Diligent, and 
… and your foot and, if it keeps growing, your dog, child, small automobile. Walking in Memphis is always entertaining and exciting, especially if you like to spot potential torts. In fact, according to authentic Chamber of Commerce statistics that I am making up, there are more torts on the streets and sidewalks of Memphis than annual Graceland visitors. I came across this interesting one taking a walk in Midtown. The hole itself is interesting, sort of like a little sinkhole, but the pole sticking out of it what grabs one’s attention, as well as the bottom of your automobile. As always, questions abound. Were they trying 
Pictorial or graphic warnings are designed to be interpretable by anyone, whatever language they speak and whatever their literacy level. The problem is it can be darn difficult to convey a product warning in a single image. This graphic warning sticker on a soda/water machine does a good job of getting one’s attention and clearly alerts people that they should not be sticking their hand in between grinding gears. Where those gears are remains a mystery, but I suppose it must be the exit path for the soda or water bottle. I have a bigger issue with the verbal warning: KEEP HANDS OUT OF VENDOR. Vendor? That sounds more 
Just as doctors need patients, lawyers need clients. One can surmise that local criminal defense lawyers got plenty of business during the largest mass arrest in U.S. history. How many people were arrested and where did it occur? 140 in Peoria, Illinois 1500 in Boston, Massachusetts 12,000 in Washington, D.C. 17,500 in Los Angeles, California ANSWER: In May 1971, more than 500,000 anti-Vietnam War protesters descended on Washington, D.C. with the intention of shutting down the federal government by blocking the streets. As of that date, 45,000 American soldiers had died in Vietnam and more than 250,000 troops were still stationed there. At least 12,000 protesters were arrested from 
Thanks to my Swiss friend for this link to a variety of wacky warning signs in Switzerland. The Swiss are very safe people, no doubt about it. Look closely at what this monstrous, overdone barrier and warning contraption is protecting: what looks to be about a four-inch deep road excavation. Compare the Swiss approach to how we handle this type of hazard in good old Memphis. –Thanks to Pat Crowell. 
Thanks to a former student at the Florida International University College of Law for spotting this particularly diabolical slip and fall risk. As if ice or banana peels weren’t risk enough by themselves, here we get a combo. Slip and falls are no laughing matter. According to OSHA, they cause 15 percent of all workplace deaths. Ice is a lot more dangerous than banana peels, but people do slip on banana peels, and not just in cartoons. One of lawhaha.com’s most visited posts is this death certificate for a poor fellow in Tennessee, noting that shortly before his death, he slipped on a banana peel. –Thanks to Armando 
Here’s the real story behind the infamous McDonald’s coffee spill case, in a five-minute video by Adam Ruins Everything. 
The 1L of a Ride Video Course is based on McClurg’s bestselling law school prep book of the same name. In addition to McClurg, the 13-part series features award-winning law professors Christine Coughlin (Wake Forest), Meredith Duncan (University of Houston), and Nancy Levit (University of Missouri-Kansas City). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT37lW6Hx1E Each video is a concise ten minutes, followed by a short self-assessment quiz. The videos include: 1. Introduction to the Video Course 2. Planning Ahead and Biggest Fears 3. Structure and Role of U.S. Courts 4. Socratic and Case Methods 5. Overview of First-Year Curriculum 6. First-Year Sample Course: Torts 7. How to Read and Brief a 
Andrew Jay McClurg, The Second Amendment Right to be Negligent, 68 Florida Law Review 1 (2016). Only two constitutional rights — the First and Second Amendments — have the capacity, through judicial interpretation or legislative action or inaction, to confer a “right to be negligent” on private citizens; that is, a right to engage in objectively unreasonable risk-creating conduct without legal consequences. In the First Amendment context, for example, the Supreme Court, in New York Times v. Sullivan and its progeny, expressly embraced a right to be negligent in defaming public officials and public figures to protect speech. This Article asserts that through both common and statutory law 
My new casebook–Guns and the Law: Cases, Problems, and Explanation–composed with Professor Brannon Denning, just came out. Featuring cases, problems, and explanation, it offers a balanced treatment of gun law and policy in the United States, which is hard to find in this highly charged area. Here’s the catalog description from Carolina Academic Press: McClurg (pro-reasonable regulation) and Denning (pro-gun-rights) apply their decades of experience studying firearms policy and gun violence in this balanced, reader-friendly casebook addressing the contentious issues of guns in America. Through cases, problems, and provocative notes and questions, the book explores current federal and state gun laws, major constitutional cases, post-Heller Second 
The Grindfather If you’re getting ready to start law school and are worried because you have a below-average LSAT score, you need to read my new ABA blog post. In it, I explain data about the correlation between LSAT scores and first-year grades, which is weaker than most people realize. While LSAT scores correlate with success for some students, they do not reliably predict success or lack of it for any individual student because the LSAT does not take into consideration many key ingredients to success, including “grit.” Look at the Memphis Grizzlies. They’ve made the NBA playoffs for six straight years without any superstars. Their 
A Zurich friend sent along this sign in Kleinbasler in Basel, intended to alert sex workers of new “tolerance zones,” designed to impose more control over prostitution, which is legal in Switzerland. According an article (link no longer available), “there has been a high turnover of prostitutes recently, mainly from EU countries in Eastern Europe, who are increasing competition, creating price falls and making it hard to convey the rules.” The competition led to demands by locals for more restrictions. There are currently 800 sex workers in Basel. Police made 120 arrests last year for working outside of designated zones. Thanks to Pat Crowell. 
Don’t point space heaters at cans of gasoline five inches away. Well, it’s not quite that bad, but this warning in a package of instructions for a small space heater (maybe 10 by 12 inches)seems almost as obvious. Not faulting the manufacturer. No doubt fires, probably a lot of them, have started because consumers unwisely placed heaters next to each of the listed flammable materials, probably including cans of gasoline. U.S. products liability law does not require warnings against “obvious dangers.” But what’s obvious? If people regularly suffer harm using a product in a dangerous way is it because the danger isn’t obvious or because product users 
Not surprisingly, the product warnings accompanying smoke detectors are extensive. Smoke detector manufacturers have been held liable in lawsuits when the detector failed to work properly and harm resulted to residents. I bought a replacement smoke detector last week at Home Depot and, as always, enjoyed reading the product warnings and instructions. They provided a lot of good advice, but surely the first item of “WHAT TO DO WHEN THE ALARM SOUNDS” could have been worded better: Alert small children in the home. Maybe I’m quibbling, but I have three issues with this instruction. First, the word “Alert” seems too unemphatic. “Hey kids, the house is on 
Grains such as barley and wheat used to make beer contain gluten (although gluten-free beer can be made from grains such as sorghum, buckwheat, rice, and millet). Can gluten be removed from traditional beer grains? During the middle of our products liability coverage in first-year Torts, a student sent this photo of a beer carton boasting in bold capital letters “CRAFTED TO REMOVE GLUTEN.” The beer was of interest to the student, who suffers from celiac disease. Persons with celiac disease, an autoimmune disorder, cannot consume gluten because their bodies will mistakenly react to gluten as if it were a poison. But then she came to 
Here’s another “rolling tort”; i.e., a dangerous condition on a road or highway. We look at these things lightly at Lawhaha.com, but large objects that come loose from a vehicle present a substantial risk of injury or death to those traveling behind. Other examples of Rolling Torts are here, here, and here. Or just sift through the entries under “Spot the Tort.” –Thanks to Larry Peters. 
This sign warning “Do Not Feed Hallucinogens to Alligators” would be amusing if it were real, but it’s not. Complicating life at Lawhaha.com, where we love to post interesting warning labels and signs, is the proliferation of fake, Photoshopped samples. Sometimes it’s hard to tell. University of Memphis first-year law student George Scoville sent me the alligators picture. It looked a bit sketchy. Research led to a Reddit post detailing indicators that the picture is fake, including, for example, a Shutterstock watermark on the mushroom. But George had also sent a second similar photo: “Do Not Give the Bison Psychoactive Substances.” This one 
What would this guy have to say about it? When a defense lawyer in a defective building case says “scare and kill” when he means to say “care and skill,” is that just being tongue-tied, or is it a Freudian slip? From a judge friend comes this: In a recent motion hearing in a multi-party construction case, the attorney for the developer of the allegedly defective building intended to refer in his argument to his client’s “care and skill” in constructing the involved building. He got a little tongue-tied, however: instead of referring to his client’s construction method as involving “care and
A lawyer friend in Jacksonville, FL sent along this funny story about a plaintiff who objected to his complaint being dismissed “with prejudice”: At a mediation, a settlement agreement was reached, so the mediator formalized it in a written document. The plaintiff’s lawyer was going over each of the terms in the document with the plaintiff. When they got to the term that stated “Plaintiff will dismiss the Complaint with prejudice,” the client looked up and adamantly stated, “I will not! I am not prejudiced, and believe everyone is equal under the eyes of God.” For non-lawyers, “dismissed with prejudice” is a 
Insurance law expert and all-around funny, clever guy Randy Maniloff has come up with a fun test for spelling out the names of 10 famous U.S. Supreme Court cases using only emoji. How did this come about? He explains in his latest issue of Coverage Opinions: The other night I was out to dinner with my 9 year old daughter. As we waited for her mac & cheese to arrive I decided to give her a lesson on the Supreme Court. I figured I’d start with the basic operation of the federal judiciary. From there move on to some landmark Supreme Court cases. 
I guess we’ll have to take this one lying down because no standing or sitting is allowed. From a former student comes this sign at a baseball field in Burns Park, North Little Rock, Arkansas. What is the sign really trying to convey? No loitering in this area? No people in this area? Under a strict construction, could you lie down in the area and be in compliance with the sign’s directive? –Thanks for Shayne Smith. 
Andrew Jay McClurg, In Search of the Golden Mean in the Gun Debate, 58 Howard Law Journal 779-809 (2015). The American gun debate is stuck and has been for a long time. Both sides remain trapped by their own hyperbolic rhetoric and reasoning fallacies, with the result that partisans are being heard only by those who already agree with them. This essay asserts that there is such a thing as “reasonable middle ground” in the gun debate and seeks to prove it by analyzing five specific measures that have the potential to reduce gun violence without infringing legitimate Second Amendment rights: (1) bolstering federal support for research Uh-oh, Christmas is over and the old man in the red suit decided to retaliate over the lawsuit filed against him by the children of the world. Originally appeared in the December 2001 issue of the ABA Journal. Santa Strikes Back BY ANDREW J. McCLURG Readers may recall that holiday cheer was dampened two years ago when the children of the world filed a class action against Santa Claus (Santa Suit, Jan. 2000). That action remains pending as thousands of judges who have received gifts from the defendant continue to recuse themselves. Now Children’s rights is a popular issue these days. One reason is that it is an impossible issue to oppose. A person can not stand up and say, “I oppose children’s rights.” Such a person would be reviled, especially by children. Of course, in our society we carry everything to extremes. Holiday cheer received a jolt yesterday with the announcement of a new lawsuit: 
Low-clearance warnings can help avert unintentional head-banging (as opposed to purposeful head-banging to, say, Metallica). In the U.S., we shout these warnings (Danger! Watch Your Head!) like we shout everything. But the Brits take a more proper, refined approach, as shown by the sign on the right, taken in a London pub. The only thing missing is an “Old Chap” at the end, as in “Please Do Mind Your Head, Old Chap.” Thanks to Pat Crowell. How do you describe a book that is so original, creative and wacky that the best comparison to it is to MAD Magazine? (Fitting since Al Jaffee, the legendary MAD cartoonist and creator of the fold-in cover, wrote the forward to it.) We’re talking about Patent Illustrator Tom Giesler’s new book, “UnVentional,” an unhinged collection of bizarre free inventions to save the world. Watch his hilarious trailer for a clearer picture: Reviews: Adam Savage, co-host of Mythbusters: “Tom Giesler has the illustrator’s version of perfect pitch. His drawings perfectly capture the sense of strange adventure inherent in every patent drawing. This book is a virtuoso performance.” David Rees, author of 
[Great News. The Torts Museum accepted my invitation. My lawn darts will be safely displayed in the museum’s “Dangerous Toys” section.] When I first heard the news about Ralph Nader’s new American Museum of Tort Law, my first thought was, “Awesome! A Torts Museum.” My second thought was, “My lawn darts! They belong there.” In case you missed the news, the Torts Museum opened last month in Nader’s home town in Winsted, CN. The museum offers a history of American tort law, with exhibits covering everything from the infamous McDonald’s hot coffee case to the even more infamous Ford Pinto exploding gas tank fiasco. I bought my lawn Former student George Carder sent along this tale of caution about technology and client relations: I was preparing a will for an 87-year-old woman. She and her 67-year-old daughter were meeting with me. I was looking at her previous will, which said she was to be “interned.” I was thinking that didn’t look right and that the correct word was “interred.” So I pulled out my phone, hit Google and touched the mic button. When I said “interred,” unfortunately, Google didn’t hear the “in” part. Can you imagine my embarrassment when my phone shouted out the definition of what it thought it heard? –Thanks 
Some of the worst “Rolling Torts,” as we call them here at Lawhaha.com, involve folks negligently failing to secure objects being transported on the backs or tops of their cars or trucks. Not sure whether to give the driver of this truck credit for at least trying to secure this huge loose pile of dirt or demerits for not trying quite hard enough. 
We’ve all seen those funny texts posted on Facebook and elsewhere. Being a skeptic by nature, I assume most of them are made up … but maybe not. From a good friend in South Florida we get this hilarious text exchange between her and her mom about the historic recent reestablishment of diplomatic relations between the United States and Cuba after a fifty-four year gap. It makes me laugh every time I read it. Lest you think my friend’s mom is not very smart, the contrary is true. She’s a highly educated professional … but obviously not a big follower of politics or world relations. Meanwhile, I’ve suggested to 
I’ve seen pictures like this on Facebook that were Photoshopped jokes, but this sign warning “Danger: Do Not Touch, This Sign Has Sharp Edges” is the real deal, straight from Auckland, New Zealand. The friend who captured this image reports that she is not sure whether the sign is a joke or not because it’s attached to another large normal sign. Weird stuff. Thanks to Lina Lim. 
Free parenting advice – “Get rid of children” What to do with the kids? It’s an eternal problem for parents. Who knew the answer would be so simple and come, not from a parenting book, but from a product warning label on a Power Bank charger for electronic devices: Get rid of children We also see that it is unlikely the language of this warning will make it into the next edition of Strunk & White, Elements of Style: Do not break,dismantling, into the fire or placed in … What??? With all the money the goes into R & D for a new 
Yes, it may be hard to believe, but it’s true. This trail at the Razorback Regional Greenway in Northwest Arkansas–along with every other trail in the world–is dangerous when underwater. Trails are also dangerous when covered with poisonous snakes, loose sticks of dynamite, large rusty spikes, and giant spiders from the planet Xenon. Where are the warnings for those dangers? 
Adding to the ongoing battle for supremacy between the two dominant professions–law and medicine–Lawhaha.com seeks your input as to who does the best song parodies, law students or medical students? Many examples of each populate YouTube, so I just picked the two with the most views. They’re both impressive and hilarious in my view, but I give the nod to the med students in this particular Fight Club Doctor-Lawyer Parody Video Match-Up. Law Students (Law School parody of Payphone by Maroon 5) Medical Students (I Don’t Know parody of Let it Go from Frozen) I argued in a law review article that doctors 
Stock photo – Not the real guy. Leave it to insurance coverage guru/legal humorist Randy Maniloff to track down the most interesting cases for his monthly publication, Coverage Opinions. Among this month’s excellent articles (which include a mock interview with Tom Brady), Randy revisits his insurance Coverage for Dummies contest with the case of Blank-Greer v. Tannerite Sports, LLC, No. 13-1266 (N.D. Ohio Apr. 21, 2015). Here are the basic facts, borrowed from Randy’s excerpts from the court’s opinion: In May 2012, [James] Yaney’s friend, Jason Vantilburg, in anticipation of the birth of his first child, asked Yaney to host a party 
So sorry to see my friend and colleague move to Switzerland, but on the upside, Lawhaha.com has a great new source of pictorial instructional and warnings signs, which we love (as shown by a few examples here, here, here, here, here, here). Remember that the goal of a pictorial warning is to advise of risks or deliver instructions to persons who cannot read or 
Went for a wonderful hike over the weekend with a friend in a state park. It’s a really nice park with well-maintained, well-used hiking trails. And it was comforting to note that they take visitor safety seriously, as shown by this sign at the trail head: NO HUNTING WITHIN 100 FEET OF TRAIL Surely one hundred feet is a more than adequate safety margin for hunting around hikers. After all, how far could a bullet possibly travel? Well, that’s where there might be a problem. A bullet fired from an average deer-hunting rifle, say a 30-06, has a maximum range of 5,675 yards–or 3.22 miles. 
We love pictorial warnings at Lawhaha.com, as shown here, here, here, here, here, here, and several other places. Remember that the goal of a pictorial warning is to advise of risks or deliver instructions to persons who cannot read or understand the written warning. So in trying to figure them out, you have to set aside the textual versions that usually accompany pictorial 
From Texas comes this warning sign that: A farm animal professional is not liable for an injury to or the death of a participant in farm animal activities resulting from the inherent risk of farm animal activities. First, we notice the evolution of the term “professional” in modern society. Originally, there were only three professions: clergy, lawyers, and doctors. Over time, the number of groups laying claim to the title of a “professional” has expanded to include architects, engineers, pharmacists, et cetera. Add to that list “farm animal professionals.” Not sure of the history of the referenced statute, but it would be interesting to see if the Believe it or not, lawyers like to rock. You’d be surprised by the number of lawyer musicians. Here’s a psychedelic nugget from the sixties as performed by my cover band, The Rants. Believe it or not, our band plays for tens of dollars in a single night. 
Exercise your First and Second Amendment rights in the same place. Former student Ben Wilkins took a trip to Somerville, Tennessee to search through deeds from decades past. Now that’s genuine, old-fashioned lawyering. While there, he snapped this picture, astutely noting that he’d found a place where one can exercise their First and Second Amendment rights at the same time. –Thanks to Ben Wilkins. 
The highlighted warning in this image sounds like a joke, but it’s part of a real set of FAQs on a pacemaker information site. Overall, it’s good news. You can use a lawn mower and other power tools with a pacemaker, but not chainsaws: Can I use a chainsaw? Chainsaws are hard to operate at a safe distance from your chest pacemaker. They should be avoided altogether. Hard to argue with the factual assertion. The user would either: (1) have to rip the pacemaker out of his chest and leave it in the house; (2) set the chainsaw up in the backyard, start it, and 
Courtesy of a law student at St. Thomas law school in Minneapolis comes this drinking, phone-talking, smoking driver and proud tortfeasor. As the student explained: Here’s a potential tort for you. I’m a law student at University of St. Thomas (Minneapolis). While driving through Iowa, I spotted a girl drinking a beer, smoking a cigarette and talking on the phone. When she saw me taking a picture, she even posed for me. The ultimate in driving multitasking. 
So I’m taking a pleasant walk along a Florida beachfront park and encounter this sign warning that it is a crime, punishable by up to one year in prison, to abandon cats in the park. I’m thinking, “That’s weird.” Then I get to a second sign warning it is unlawful to feed or abandon cats or other animals. Unlawful to feed a cat? Wait a minute. At this point, I’m thinking, “Aren’t we engaging in some serious overkill on the cat issue?” But then I come to a third sign and go, “Uh-oh.” Did Tuggers run away to join the other cats? Poor Tuggers. Hope he is 
From a golf course in Florida, comes this pair of signs. The first one features a seemingly contented (despite having a decapitated head) golf-cart driver cruising along above a warning to “Share the Road.” Twenty yards farther along we get a much more ominous sign. Same cart, but the driver has been “disappeared.” Did he fail to share the road? An investigation is underway.
Don’t think for a minute that Canadian judges can’t keep up with American judges when it comes to Strange Judicial Opinions. Wild and crazy judicial happenings in Canada are here, here and here. Now comes a new hit TV series, I mean, an order in a divorce case, entered by Superior Court Justice Pazaratz, where the court analogized the parties’ ugly divorce to the hit television show, Breaking Bad. Excerpts from the order include: 1. Breaking Bad, meet Breaking Bad Parents. 2. The 
It’s the season to reprise those two holiday favorites from the Harmless Error vault: Santa Suit — The children of the world file a class action lawsuit seeking redress for perceived grievances against the man in the red suit. (Caroline Kennedy selected this column for inclusion in her A Family Christmas anthology.) Santa Strikes Back — Turns out the jolly one has his own issues about his Christmas job. Mightily ticked off, he files his own lawsuit. Enjoy and Happy Holidays from Lawhaha.com! 
Falling anvils can happen to anyone. Thanks to legal humorist extraordinaire Randy Maniloff for a nice shout-out to Lawhaha.com as part of his recent article exploring cartoon accident clichés that found their way to the courthouse. Exploding cigars, falling anvils, you name it. Turns out the experiences of Wile E. Coyote and Tom and Jerry also happen to ordinary people, and Randy cites the cases to prove it. That’s one of the things we most appreciate about him. Like Lawhaha.com (and unlike so many purveyors of legal humor), Randy doesn’t circulate undocumented anecdotes that may or may not have really happened. He researches and provides citations to 
Justice Stephen Breyer Ryan A. Malphurs conducted an interesting study of laughter in proceedings before the U.S. Supreme Court, following up on the work of Jerry Wexler for the New York Times. His entire article is must-reading for fans of legal humor, but this attention-grabbing opening excerpt from an oral argument in Safford Unified School District v. Redding certainly stands out: Justice Breyer: In my experience when I was 8 or 10 or 12 years old, we did take our clothes off once a day, we changed for gym, okay? And in my experience, too, people did sometime stick things in my underwear– Read more… 
A Word Cloud reveals the stress and anxiety of 1Ls. This is Part II of an exploration of psychological distress in law students. Part I explored empirical research showing the extent to which law students suffer from psychological dysfunction such as anxiety and depression. This part highlights a couple of non-scientific indicators of the problem. Mid-semester, I asked a class of first-year Torts students to list their three top emotions about law school. Then I dumped all their answers into a Word Cloud program, which depicts entries by size according to how often the words 
And on the serious side … Rainy Day Law Students On my way to class recently, I came across this hand-written annotation posted alongside this rainy day painting hanging in our magnificent law school (recently ranked as the nation’s best law school facility). Click to enlarge the picture and you’ll see it’s a man standing under a raining umbrella. The sign says: “Every day in law school” As law students everywhere approach fall semester exams, it once again brought home the sad fact that many law students struggle with anxiety, depression and other psychological dysfunction. I learned the depth of the problem researching Read more… 
The “Companion Text” to Law School named an Amazon Editors’ Favorite Book of the Year. The “Companion Text” to Law School: Understanding and Surviving Life with a Law Student has been named one of the Amazon Editors’ Favorite Books of the Year. Pretty cool. 
My law school prep book, 1L of a Ride, gets a lot more attention, but my book written for the loved ones of law students–The “Companion Text” to Law School: Understanding and Surviving Life with a Law Student (West 2012)–got a nice shout-out on Paul Caron’s popular TaxProf blog. Thanks to Al Sturgeon, Dean of Students at Pepperdine Law, for his insightful take on my chapter called Eight Things to NEVER Say to a Law Student, which include: “Don’t Worry, You’ll Do Fine” “Maybe You Weren’t Meant to Be in Law School” “Remember, It’s Only 
A fleeing bank robber made the mistake of seeking refuge in his 94-year-old great-grandmother’s home with pursuers hot on his trail. When the police arrived, the only ones present were the accused and great-grandma. At trial, the defendant, Mr. Jones, elected to represent himself, never a good idea. The prosecution called his great-grandma as a witness. To say she wasn’t happy about the proceedings and, in particular, the conduct of her great-grandson would understate her disenchantment with sitting in the witness box. We’ll let her explain. Here’s the text of page 209 of the trial transcript shown in the photo, where she concludes her testimony: THE 
For Halloween, we reprise Hogwarts Torts, a Harmless Error column fan favorite, detailing the torts inflicted on poor young Harry Potter. 
Poor guy died from slipping on a banana peel. Slipping on a banana peel is, of course, a classic clichéd accident depicted in cartoons. As my 1Ls get ready to tackle the famous trilogy of banana peel slip and fall cases in the Prosser, Wade & Schwartz Torts casebook next week, the nagging question that lingers is: do people really slip on banana peels? A previous post discussed this issue, but check this out. It’s a 1927 Tennessee death certificate for a 74-year-old hospitalized man. A bit hard to read, but the highlighted note written across the 
I was really touched by this. A first-year student at the University of Denver law school asked if she could use a line from 1L of a Ride: A Well-Traveled Professor’s Roadmap to Success in the First Year of Law School on her business card. If only law students–and all of us–could always remain idealistic. 
“Let’s Dance” We love pictorial warnings at Lawhaha.com, as shown by the samples here, here, here, here, and here. These are supposedly universal warnings designed to be understood by everyone. As in these warnings on the outside of a dehumidifier box, they are often accompanied by written warnings. But not everyone can read the written warnings, either because of language barriers or simply an 
And a whole lot of other undesirable results. The World Health Organization (WHO) directs, in Article 11 of the WHO Framework Convention on Tobacco Control, that parties to the convention “implement large, rotating health warnings on all tobacco product packaging and labelling.” The WHO website shows twenty countries (and their mandated warnings) currently participating, including Brazil, which is where the Florida International University law student who gave me this pack of Marlboros purchased it. Some of the warnings are much more graphic. Other countries mandate pictorial warnings without belonging to the WHO convention. In the United States, graphic pictorial warnings on cigarette packages were torpedoed by a lawsuit A former student of mine at the Florida International University College of Law sent this along, his entry for “Best Case Name of the Month.” This month’s contestant is Wise v. Strong, 341 S.W.2d 633, 634 (Mo. Ct. App. 1960). Spoiler alert: Strong wins. Strong always wins. *Tear. Send along any entries you come up with! –Thanks to Michael Hirschkowitz. “We live in a hideously unjust society where the only thing anyone cares about is oppressing precious, innocent children.” — Suzanne Marie Spikes So proclaimed 11-year-old Suzy Spikes immediately before her parents imposed sentence in Spikes v. Spikes, Case No. 1,094,908, in which Suzy was charged with 48 counts of Bad Attitude with Intent to Act Like a Teenager. Just another day in the life of poor Suzy Spikes. Check out Suzy’s world by clicking on the links below (or just scroll down). Make sure you’re well-insured and keep your lawyer’s number handy: Sentencing Suzy ★ ★ ★ ★ (1998 Drama) Litigious 
One doesn’t have to look far to find criticism of law professors for spending such a large portion of their time writing long, heavily foonoted, sleep-inducing law review articles. We even poke fun at ourselves for it, Exhibit A being The World’s Greatest Law Review Article. But law review articles can and do have an impact. Have to share the good news that my proposal for a statutory presumption of elder financial exploitation in my recent Hastings Law Journal article, Preying on the Graying: A Statutory Presumption to Prosecute Elder Financial Exploitation, was signed into law by Florida Governor Rick Scott |
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Books  1L of a Ride: A Well-Traveled Professor's Roadmap to Success in the First Year of Law School  The 'Companion Text' to Law School: Understanding and Surviving Life with a Law Student  Practical Global Tort Litigation: United States, Germany and Argentina  Gun Control and Gun Rights  The Law School Trip: The Insider's Guide to Law School  Amicus Humoriae: An Anthology of Legal Humor Selected  Preying on the Graying: A Statutory Presumption to Prosecute Elder Financial Exploitation  Fight Club: Doctors vs. Lawyers - A Peace Plan Grounded in Self Interest  Neurotic, Paranoid Wimps - Nothing has Changed  Kiss and Tell: Protecting Intimate Relationship Privacy Through Implied Contracts of Confidentiality  Dead Sorrow: A Story About Loss and A New Theory of Wrongful Death Damages  A Thousand Words are Worth a Picture: A Privacy Tort Response to Consumer Data Profiling  The Public Health Case for the Safe Storage of Firearms: Adolescent Suicides Add One More 'Smoking Gun'  Armed and Dangerous: Tort Liability for the Negligent Storage of Firearms  Good Cop, Bad Cop: Using Cognitive Dissonance Theory to Reduce Police Lying  Poetry in Commotion: Katko v. Briney and the Bards of First-Year Torts  The Tortious Marketing of Handguns: Strict Liability is Dead, Long Live Negligence  Bringing Privacy Law Out of the Closet: A Tort Theory of Liability for Intrusions in Public Places  The Rhetoric of Gun Control  It’s a Wonderful Life: The Case for Hedonic Damages in Wrongful Death Cases  Your Money or Your Life: Interpreting the Federal Act Against Patient Dumping  Logical Fallacies and the Supreme Court: A Critical Analysis of Justice Rehnquist's Decisions In Criminal Procedure Cases  |
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