Welcome back to lawhaha.com. Sorry for the long hiatus. The original WordPress site theme expired and it took a while to migrate to a new theme. But lawhaha.com is back for good. I’ll be adding new content soon. In the meantime, enjoy twenty-five years of the best in legal humor! Strange Judicial Opinions, Legal Oddities, Funny Law School Stories, Wacky Warning Signs and Labels, and more.
Miscellaneous
Is It Dumb to Make Intentionally Funny Warning Signs?
Many people find intentionally funny warnings labels or signs to be amusing. Take this one (verified as real), taken at an overlook at the Arkansas Grand Canyon. It’s amusing and probably effective. Poking fun at tort lawsuits and the tendency of humans to do stupid things while also making it clear that one should not climb over the railing or fence and fall to their death or severe injury.
Nevertheless, viewing it from a Torts professor point of view, I stay with my legal opinion (expressed in previous posts) that it is unwise to turn severe risks of physical harm into a joking matter.
Socratically speaking, let us suppose an onlooker fell over the railing because (1) someone accidentally pushed them, (2) they were a child and didn’t appreciate the risk, (3) there was a defect in the railing, (4) or even because they were careless in stretching to get a better picture.
A plaintiff’s attorney could have a field day with this sign, already conveniently identified by the defendant as “Exhibit A.”
DO NOT CROSS THE FENCE.
If you do, and file suit claiming injury, this sign will be marked “Exhibit A”.
Hilarious! A gut-buster! … Oh, the plaintiff’s quadriplegic? His guts actually busted? For real? Not as funny as I thought.
Maybe the scenarios I posed are unlikely. I can’t tell how high the “fence” is. Still, why even think about resorting to humor when conveying a risk of death or disabling physical injury?
–Thanks to former student Ginger Stuart for the photo!
Praise for McClurg’s Fifth Novel
Meanwhile, check out McClurg’s novels, written under his pen name Dorian Box. Some are dark, but all contain humor, especially titles like this one: FUNERAL DAZE. Check it out on Amazon.
Praise For McClurg’s (aka Dorian Box) Funeral Daze
“FUNERAL DAZE by Dorian Box manages to be laugh-out-loud funny, heartwarmingly tender, and full of lively action and suspense, all at once—a thoroughly entertaining and engaging read.” — IndieReader (5 Stars; IR Seal of Approval)
“Funeral Daze is a novel that takes both light and dark elements to present a fantastically engaging, emotionally resonant story in a deeply humorous and satirical fashion. Unmissable reading.” — 2023 Readers’ Favorite Silver Medal for Humor Fiction)
“A hilarious page-turner that effortlessly blends crime, humor and South Florida beach culture. … Award-winning author Dorian Box (Psycho Tropics, The Hiding Girl) has always employed brilliant doses of well-timed levity in crime fiction, but he pulls out all the stops for this laugh-out-loud caper.” — BestThrillers
“The story unfolds at a crisp and steady pace, with plenty of thought-provoking moments once 12-year-old Jessica enters the scene, offering Danny surprisingly mature reflections on tragedy and a knockout mystery to occupy his time. … Funeral Daze delivers an appealing spin on the mystery genre through rich characterization and an abundance of insight throughout.” — Publishers Weekly BookLife Prize Seminfinalist
“A perfect beach read, this zany mystery has the thrills, quirky characters, juicy plot twists, and gripping conclusion you’re looking for!” — Reedsy Discovery
“Time and again, Box has proven he can write a tense thriller that is funny, dark, and completely endearing. It’s the perfect combination of a smart storyline and characters that keep you reading well after bedtime. Fantastic!” — NetGalley
“Funeral Daze is a macabre and hilarious novel that intersects the lives of several bizarre and oddly compelling characters. … Dorian Box masterfully directs the story into a series of unpredictable and uproarious events that are deliciously ironic, unexpectedly thought-provoking, and always edgy and dark.” — D. Donovan, Senior Reviewer, Midwest Book Review
And don’t forget McClurg’s (Box’s) other award-winning novels.
Honest Is the Best Policy – Funny Deposition
Not surprisingly, not to name any names, but people frequently lie under sworn oath, including in depositions. So you have to appreciate, as did the opposing lawyer, the sincere honesty of this deponent.
[Opposing Lawyer] was deposing my 19-year-old client. Her dad died in a collision near Hope, Arkansas on I-30. He had been in and out of prison all of his life.
My opponent was asking her about her dad’s habits:
Q. Did he use drugs?
A. He smoked marijuana.
Q. Okay. You know how often?
A. After he went to report for probation.
Q. Oh, my goodness. You are one honest person, young lady.
Thanks to Jim Jackson, former student and now all-star lawyer.
Beware of Fluffy
Beware of Dog. Would you believe the referenced dog in the pictured sign that escaped through this wrought-iron fence was a five-pound miniature poodle named Fluffy?
I wouldn’t believe it either, just as I’m not sure I believe the sign in this admittedly funny picture is real, or just something someone Photoshopped onto the fence. (Obviously, no dog broke through the fence.) I mean, why would “DOG” be in quotation marks?
I don’t post many funny warning signs anymore because I assume most of the ones I see (and I see a lot on Facebook) are phony, which is a real shame for aficionados of true wacky signs.
Wacky Personal Injury Sticker: Injured? Good!
Talk about a wacky sticker. We’ve all seen the billboards and city benches and bumper stickers, etc., bearing advertisements from plaintiffs’ personal injury lawyers along the lines of:
INJURED? You may be entitled to compensation. Call Tammy the Terminator today for a free consultation!
But walking to a gym last week, I passed a car with this sticker on the rear window:
INJURED? GOOD
Yikes! Surely it’s a joke … I hope. If anyone recognizes the two dudes pictured, let me know.
Forged License Plate Is Art for Art’s Sake
This effort to forge a license plate’s vehicle registration renewal sticker must have been art for art’s sake, because it surely had no chance of fooling anyone.
Bartlett is an incorporated suburb of Memphis. The Bartlett police recently posted this picture on their Facebook feed.
Give them credit for their sense of humor. “Nice try, but no,” they said.
McClurg Interviewed for “Criminal” Podcast Re “Mantraps”
“Criminal,” the highly rated podcast of true crime stories run by former NPR reporters, interviewed me for its newest episode called “Mantrap.” It addresses civil liability for harm caused by deadly booby traps set to protect uninhabited property. Here’s a link to the website podcast and here’s a link to all of the links where the podcast can be heard (e.g., Spotify, Google Play, iTunes, etc.).
My contribution involved one of my favorite tort law cases, Katko v. Briney, the infamous Iowa spring-gun case.
Plaintiff Marvin Katko broke into Ed and Bertha Briney’s uninhabited farmhouse in Eddyville, Iowa, in search of old jars and bottles he considered to be antiques, only to have his leg blown off by a shotgun wired to a bed in one of the bedrooms. The Brineys were fed up with people breaking into the house, which had stood empty for years, so they wired a shotgun to an inside door.
The court described the shotgun-trap as follows:
“After Mr. Briney cleaned and oiled his 20-gauge shotgun, the power of which he was well aware, defendants took it to the old house where they secured it to an iron bed with the barrel pointed at the bedroom door. It was rigged with wire from the doorknob to the gun’s trigger so it would fire when the door was opened. Briney first pointed the gun so an intruder would be hit in the stomach but at Mrs Briney’s suggestion it was lowered to hit the legs.” (Emphasis added.)
(In a previous post, I describe, image included, the amazing claim by the current property owner that he is in possession of the actual wire used for the trap.)
Katko sued the Brineys and—despite the fact that he broke into their farmhouse with an intent to steal—won a substantial jury verdict for both compensatory and punitive damages. Unable to pay it, the Brineys had to sell eighty acres of their farm to three neighbors who agreed to hold it in trust for the Brineys in the expectation that the Iowa Supreme Court would reverse the trial court’s judgment for Katko. But that didn’t happen. The judgment was affirmed on the ground that deadly force cannot be used to protect property only.
Criminal’s new podcast explores the Briney case along with a few other “mantrap” cases.
1L of a Ride Number One Bestseller … in Jurisprudence?
Karl Llewellyn, Roscoe Pound, Ronald Dworkin … McClurg?
And you thought 1L of a Ride was simply a helpful law school prep book, but it’s the number #1 Best Seller on Amazon in “Jurisprudence.”
Yale, Chicago, Harvard, I’ll be waiting for your calls.
The Eminent Domain Power Explained in a Child’s Drawing
“Eminent domain” is the power of federal and state governments to “take” private property for public use. In 1879, the U.S. Supreme Court held that the power “requires no constitutional recognition” because it is an inherent power of sovereign governments. But governments can’t just take your property without paying for it. The Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution provides that no private property can be taken for “without just compensation.” Here’s a good history of it.
The Fifth Amendment eminent domain clause is often called “the taking clause,” for obvious reasons. While it only applies to federal actions, all states provide for the power of eminent domain in legislation and/or their state constitutions.
Through the years, lawyers and judges have spent untold hours litigating thousands of eminent domain cases. Many legal treatises addressing the doctrine exist, including the definitive Nichols on Eminent Domain.
But leave it a child to unravel this complex doctrine in a single illustration. This comes from the daughter of two former law students of mine, who gave me permission to post it. I love the expressions on the characters’ faces. Even the getaway horse looks slightly nefarious. And the constable’s words capture the doctrine beautifully: “Hold it right there! I have the right to borrow your horse! If I injure it I will pay a fair price for it. Hurry please! Before that escapee gets away!”