Warning Labels

The goal in crafting a pictorial product warning is to come up with a picture that can be universally understood, even by people who speak different languages or are illiterate. But it’s darned difficult to capture most warnings in the form of a simple drawing.

Case in point: this warning on a 3M paint-fumes mask.  You’ve seen or used these before. They are paper masks held to one’s face with rubber bands that go behind the head.

But what is this pictorial warning trying to say?  The accompanying text helps, but, again, the whole idea of pictorial warnings is that they are supposed to be understandable even by people who can’t read the written warning.

So just concentrate on the picture itself and ask, “What is it saying?

Here are possibilities that come to mind:

— “Smoking Area”

— “Help, My Lungs Recently Exploded”

— “Totally Awesome Bong”

— “Short Pants Are Caused By Clouds”

And what’s up with the limitation in the written warning that the respirator helps keep “non-harmful dusts and certain particles out of your nose, mouth and lungs”?  Isn’t the whole point of buying them to keep out harmful dust and particles?

iTunes software is good stuff for downloading the latest crappola that the recording industry is outputting (editorial comment courtesy of a music lover still stuck in the 60s and 70s), but just remember that iTunes software is:

[N]ot intended for use in the operation of nuclear facilities, aircraft navigation or communication systems, air traffic control systems, life support machines or other equipment in which the failure of the Apple software system could lead to death, personal injury, or severe physical or environmental damage.

Here’s an interesting warning, from a former student at Florida International University College of Law.

The warning is on the outside of a toilet compartment on a recreational boat.  I think I know what it means, but surely they could have worded it better.

What kind of a consumer would voluntarily ingest a hot sauce so dangerous they must first sign a disclaimer/waiver acknowledging “serious injury can be caused if applied to skin, eyes or and exposed body parts,” and waiving their legal rights in the event of injury, while also certifying they are not under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time of signing? (Click on thumbnail to expand.)

Answer: The only answers coming readily to mind are an unreasonable consumer or one with an asbestos-lined stomach. If this product–a hot sauce manufactured by a burrito company and called, among other names, Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally–is dangerous enough to require a disclaimer before consumption, should it be marketed at all?

The sauce is reportedly 700 times hotter than tobasco sauce and 300 times hotter than a jalapeno.  Looking forward to trying it before my next emergency colon surgery.

But believe it or not, there are much hotter sauces available! The heat of hot sauces is measured in Scoville units. Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally rates at 1.5 million Scoville units.  The hottest sauce, according to a site that tracks these things, is Blair’s 16 Million Reserve, which rates 16 million Scoville units, or 3200 times hotter than a jalapeno.

Is there any other consumable product for which buyers must sign a disclaimer/waiver?

The waiver of rights may or may not be valid depending on the accuracy of the risk information in the disclaimer. If hot sauces of this nature were determined to be “unreasonably dangerous,” the waiver would not be upheld. Every product carries a warranty of merchantability that the product is fit for the ordinary purposes for which such products are used; here, human consumption.

But since several different brands of super-hot sauces exist, maybe they really aren’t dangerous. Maybe the disclaimer is even part of a marketing plan, since boasting the hottest of hot sauces appears to be a selling point.

Professor and editor of the Torts Prof blog, Bill Childs, posted this picture of a warning sign at the new Harry Potter attraction at the Islands of Adventures theme park in Orlando.  He noted that he particularly enjoyed that even the warnings are themed, as this one comes from the “Department of Magical Transportation.”

See my ABA Journal column on Hogwarts Torts, suggesting that no student in the history of education has been subjected to as many torts as poor Harry Potter.

Glittery makeup is good stuff, for Halloween, your next glam band, or just for fun. And you can see how much fun this woman on the packaging is having with it. Go ahead and click on the image to expand it, so you can get the full realization of what an awesome opportunity this stuff presents to have a good time.

But wait, what’s that warning in small print on the back of the packaging?

Do not place glitter near the eye area.

Longtime Lawhaha.com supporter Lihwei Lin sent this picture of a sticker inside a taxicab operating in the Pacific Rim.

Customers in these cabs must have been especially happy to reach their destinations. How could they not be? On entering the vehicle they are warned (italics added):

SAFETY-FIRST Please put on your seatbelt prepare for accident.

Out and about? Thirsty? Stop. Find a convenience store or a restaurant or even a liquor store.  But don’t stoop (har har) to drinking out of the toilet. In case you forget, just read the warning sticker:

RECYCLED FLUSH WATER

UNSAFE FOR DRINKING

This warning makes sense because a plug-in night-light is, after all an electrical device that could be dangerous.  But it still sounds funny to have a warning on a Mickey Mouse product that says:

CAUTION: THIS IS NOT A TOY and is not intended for use by children.