Here are the warnings from a dust-mist-fumes respirator mask from a home improvement store. It’s a good product, but just be aware that:
This respirator does not supply oxygen.
and
Use only in atmospheres with adequate oxygen to sustain human life.
Another close call, saved by a product warning. Do not bother packing this mask for your upcoming trip through the solar system.
(All photos are expandable thumbnails.)
Here’s a warning for a power drill, the kind you buy at Home Depot for the purpose of making holes in wood, metal and concrete.
But read up before using, people, because:
This product is not intended for use as a dental drill or in medical applications.
That last part threw me because I have this pain in my side and also this really nice 18-volt hammer drill. I was thinking, why not see what’s going on it there? I’m glad I read the warning first.
Most people enjoy this warning for the seemingly silly dental drill caution, but I also like this part:
Do not allow familiarity gained from frequent use of your rotary tool to become commonplace.
I know what they’re trying to say, and they do clear it up in the unbolded sentence that follows. It’s an issue worthy of addressing in product warnings because tons of “cognitive failure” research shows that humans are prone to mental slips when performing tasks, and, perhaps counterintuitively, that the more expert a person becomes in performing a task, the more likely he or she is to commit a mental slip. Familiarity and confidence breed inattention.
So it’s a well-intended warning, but the bolded sentence doesn’t say what it means. Essentially, it says don’t let familiarity with the tool become commonplace, which is a non-sequitur.
In my Products Liability course, we have “Stupid Warning Day,” where each student is required to bring in an unusual warning label. When I was teaching at a law school in San Francisco, a student brought in this warning for a set of “Lock Up Your Lover Furry Handcuffs.”
It’s actually a pretty good warning though:
WARNING: Place an extra key in a safe place to avoid unnecessary discomfort, embarrassment and any need to call a locksmith or a police officer.
Sounds like a warning one might expect to find on one of the Weasley twins’ products in the Harry Potter franchise, but this disclaimer on a pack of incense comes from the Muggle world.
First, the incense promises a magical world of mystic knowledge and ecstasy, but the small print at the bottom takes it all back:
Sold as curio only, no magical effects are guaranteed.
To which they might want to add:
If you’re experiencing magical effects, it’s probably not from the incense, but from that other product you’re using the incense to cover up.
Law students learn to avoid risk, in part because of what is known as the “availability heuristic”–a mental shortcut people use to unreliably evaluate the probability of risks based on whether they can remember the event ever happening before.
Law students and lawyers tend to over-estimate risk because they can always imagine a situation (an availability) in every context of life where things went wrong. In all the cases they read, things went wrong, which is why they became cases. Their constant exposure to Murphy’s Law causes them to become very adept at (even obsessive about) spotting and avoiding risks in their own lives.
Here a careful student of mine studying in the law library with her laptop took the extra-prudent precaution of posting a warning sign near to the cord and plug to avoid a tripping injury risk.
One of my favorite types of silly warnings is the kind that can’t possibly be followed. This is a great example, “borrowed” from the seat-back pocket of Boeing B-727 airliner:
If you are sitting in an exit row and you can not read this card, … please tell a crew member.
Alrighty.
Imagine what airlines would write if they really thought we couldn’t read any of it:
“Meanwhile, while you’re sitting there unable to read this card hoping we’ll come by with the drink cart before you pass out, let us tell you how much we enjoy treating you like cattle, bossing you around, losing your luggage, starving you into submission, and, when we can, smashing your heads against the overhead compartment, accidental like. Customer service? Ha, haa. That’s a good one. Too bad you can’t read this, SUCKERS!”
Much products liability litigation is directed at whether a product warning was reasonably clear in explaining the actual risk of the product. A subsidiary argument involves pictorial warnings. Pictorial warnings have the benefit of being understood by persons who read in different languages or who are illiterate. Their downside is that they often are unclear because it is difficult to capture most product warnings in a simple picture or symbol.
But I think everyone would agree that the graphic pictorial warning on this vehicle with a rotating-shaft device clearly indicates this is a risk a reasonable person would avoid.
Just one question: Is it okay to use the stairs?
Not surprisingly, since they are full of law professors and law students, law schools are pretty safe places. Be hard to overlook these warnings at the University of Memphis law school.
Wait, what is that in the background? Looks like a dead body. Maybe just a tired 1L.
From what I hear, Viagra is a high-quality product, but like all prescription products, it’s not for everyone. Specifically, Viagra is NOT FOR NEWBORNS.
This is the kind of warning people read and think “Those crazy [fill in the blank: lawyers, consumers, manufacturers …].” Who needs to be told that Viagra is not for newborns?
Healthcare providers. That’s right. Turns out that sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra, has been found to be useful in preventing “rebound pulmonary hypertension” in infants.
But since it’s not FDA-approved for such a use, one can understand why Pfizer, the manufacturer, might feel a need to warn against this foreseeable use or misuse of the product.
(Since I posted this, I found out my 93-year-old mom is feeding Viagra to her female dog on her veterinarian’s instructions for some kind of pulmonary condition. This comes out in a phone conversation where the topic thread started like this: “Have you heard about this product they have for … oh, what’s it called? I forget, but it’s for men so they can keep having sex forever.” “Uh, yeah, mom, I’ve heard of it.”)