Low-clearance warnings can help avert unintentional head-banging (as opposed to purposeful head-banging to, say, Metallica).
In the U.S., we shout these warnings (Danger! Watch Your Head!) like we shout everything. But the Brits take a more proper, refined approach, as shown by the sign on the right, taken in a London pub.
The only thing missing is an “Old Chap” at the end, as in “Please Do Mind Your Head, Old Chap.”
Thanks to Pat Crowell.
How do you describe a book that is so original, creative and wacky that the best comparison to it is to MAD Magazine? (Fitting since Al Jaffee, the legendary MAD cartoonist and creator of the fold-in cover, wrote the forward to it.)
We’re talking about Patent Illustrator Tom Giesler’s new book, “UnVentional,” an unhinged collection of bizarre free inventions to save the world. Watch his hilarious trailer for a clearer picture:
[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDaCYW6ms-k[/embedyt]
Reviews:
Adam Savage, co-host of Mythbusters: “Tom Giesler has the illustrator’s version of perfect pitch. His drawings perfectly capture the sense of strange adventure inherent in every patent drawing. This book is a virtuoso performance.”
David Rees, author of How To Sharpen Pencils: “Brilliant, hilarious, and weirdly inspiring, unventional will forever change the way you look at objects that don’t actually exist.”
Fernando Cota, former U.S. Patent Office examiner: “Mr. Giesler has, for better or worse, applied the principles of open sourcing to the patent process. His cavalier vision is a world free from patent attorneys, licensing, patent examining fees, and, unfortunately, regard for public safety.”
This would make a perfect, unique gift. Order it on Amazon.
[Great News. The Torts Museum accepted my invitation. My lawn darts will be safely displayed in the museum’s “Dangerous Toys” section.]
When I first heard the news about Ralph Nader’s new American Museum of Tort Law, my first thought was, “Awesome! A Torts Museum.” My second thought was, “My lawn darts! They belong there.”
In case you missed the news, the Torts Museum opened last month in Nader’s home town in Winsted, CN. The museum offers a history of American tort law, with exhibits covering everything from the infamous McDonald’s hot coffee case to the even more infamous Ford Pinto exploding gas tank fiasco.
I bought my lawn darts about twenty years ago at a garage sale. Never used. No dirt or even bloodstains. Pristine. I knew it would be selfish for me to keep enjoying them, like hiding a Rembrandt in a private studio.
Lawn darts were banned by the Consumer Product Safety Commission in 1988 on the basis that their risk outweighed their social usefulness. The Commission reported three deaths associated with lawn darts from 1970-1988 and an estimated 700 annual emergency room cases. Then-Commissioner Anne Graham explained the Commission’s risk-utility analysis (which my current first-year students will recognize as Judge Hand’s famous formula for negligence):
What limited recreational value lawn darts may have is far outweighed by the number of serious injuries and unnecessary deaths. This week another child was severely injured by a lawn dart. She is now in critical condition. There are numerous alternatives to lawn darts, and I would urge adults who have lawn darts to throw them away now.
The most amazing aspect of my set of Jarts is that the packaging doesn’t include a single warning.
To the contrary, it touts lawn darts as “The Most Exciting Outdoor Game Today.” No doubt. Nothing like a screaming ambulance to liven up the neighborhood.
Best of all, it was a game for the whole family, except … oops, that missile on the cover appears headed straight for mom!
The Consumer Product Safety Commission’s original notice of the ban “urge[d] consumers to discard or destroy all lawn darts immediately” and instructed them to call the Commission’s hotline if they find any still for sale.
Former student George Carder sent along this tale of caution about technology and client relations:
I was preparing a will for an 87-year-old woman. She and her 67-year-old daughter were meeting with me. I was looking at her previous will, which said she was to be “interned.”
I was thinking that didn’t look right and that the correct word was “interred.” So I pulled out my phone, hit Google and touched the mic button. When I said “interred,” unfortunately, Google didn’t hear the “in” part.
Can you imagine my embarrassment when my phone shouted out the definition of what it thought it heard?
–Thanks to George Carder
Being lifelong fans Peanuts and Snoopy fans, Lawhaha.com is happy to promote a new ebook, Snoopy the Legal Beagle.
Snoopy, Esq. gets into all sorts of antics in these classic Charles Schulz comic strips. After all, what could possibly go wrong with Snoopy running the litigation team?
Some of the worst “Rolling Torts,” as we call them here at Lawhaha.com, involve folks negligently failing to secure objects being transported on the backs or tops of their cars or trucks.
Not sure whether to give the driver of this truck credit for at least trying to secure this huge loose pile of dirt or demerits for not trying quite hard enough.
We’ve all seen those funny texts posted on Facebook and elsewhere. Being a skeptic by nature, I assume most of them are made up … but maybe not.
From a good friend in South Florida we get this hilarious text exchange between her and her mom about the historic recent reestablishment of diplomatic relations between the United States and Cuba after a fifty-four year gap.
It makes me laugh every time I read it. Lest you think my friend’s mom is not very smart, the contrary is true. She’s a highly educated professional … but obviously not a big follower of politics or world relations.
Meanwhile, I’ve suggested to my friend that she clean up her language when talking to her mother.
I’ve seen pictures like this on Facebook that were Photoshopped jokes, but this sign warning “Danger: Do Not Touch, This Sign Has Sharp Edges” is the real deal, straight from Auckland, New Zealand.
The friend who captured this image reports that she is not sure whether the sign is a joke or not because it’s attached to another large normal sign. Weird stuff.
Thanks to Lina Lim.
What to do with the kids? It’s an eternal problem for parents.
Who knew the answer would be so simple and come, not from a parenting book, but from a product warning label on a Power Bank charger for electronic devices:
Get rid of children
We also see that it is unlikely the language of this warning will make it into the next edition of Strunk & White, Elements of Style:
Do not break,dismantling, into the fire or placed in …
What???
With all the money the goes into R & D for a new product, it’s astonishing that manufacturers do not cough up a few extra bucks to hire competent people to write their warnings. Manufacturers, call me.
One last funny part about this whole thing is that the Power Bank chargers containing this warning were given out by the Arkansas Bar Association to every lawyer at their annual convention.
–Thanks to former student George Carder for this beaut.
Yes, it may be hard to believe, but it’s true.
This trail at the Razorback Regional Greenway in Northwest Arkansas–along with every other trail in the world–is dangerous when underwater.
Trails are also dangerous when covered with poisonous snakes, loose sticks of dynamite, large rusty spikes, and giant spiders from the planet Xenon.
Where are the warnings for those dangers?
But maybe you’re unsure whether this warning is accurate. Maybe the trail is safe when underwater. Maybe the sign is exaggerating, prompting unnecessary fear and caution. Is it possible?
Nope, guess not.
–Thanks to Bill Putman.