Professor and editor of the Torts Prof blog, Bill Childs, posted this picture of a warning sign at the new Harry Potter attraction at the Islands of Adventures theme park in Orlando.  He noted that he particularly enjoyed that even the warnings are themed, as this one comes from the “Department of Magical Transportation.”

See my ABA Journal column on Hogwarts Torts, suggesting that no student in the history of education has been subjected to as many torts as poor Harry Potter.

Longtime Lawhaha.com supporter Lihwei Lin sent this picture of a sticker inside a taxicab operating in the Pacific Rim.

Customers in these cabs must have been especially happy to reach their destinations. How could they not be? On entering the vehicle they are warned (italics added):

SAFETY-FIRST Please put on your seatbelt prepare for accident.

This warning makes sense in a way because plug-in night-light is, after all, an electrical device that could be dangerous.  But it still sounds funny to have a warning on a Mickey Mouse product that says:

CAUTION: THIS IS NOT A TOY and is not intended for use by children.

… or any other part of the body they do not cover.

Okay, there are unusual warnings and just plain stupid ones:

Shin pads can not protect any part of the body they do not cover.

Sounds crazy perhaps, but lots of people have tried it. Hence, Rowenta felt the need to caution purchasers of its irons to:

Never iron clothes while they are being worn.

This warning for a Slinky is mildly amusing because Slinkys just don’t seem very dangerous, but it’s the instructions that crack me up.

First, the warning:

CAUTION: Do not use in moving vehicle. Do not throw coils out any window. Keep Slinky away from face and eyes.

Now the instructions, and pay attention because they are complicated:

TO BOUNCE SLINKY UP AND DOWN: Hold a few coils tightly in one hand, allowing rest of Slinky to hang down. Now in a bouncing motion, move hand slowly up and down.

So that’s how you do it.  I never could figure that out.  I was always holding it up. Duh.

This is my favorite wacky warning of all time. Usually, if you ponder a warning, you can figure out why it’s there, even seemingly ridiculous warnings. So, for example, a warning on a heavy-duty power drill to not use it as a dental drill is probably there because some wayward consumer actually attempted to use it that way.

But I’ve never been able to conceive of a reason–even an unreasonable fear of lawsuits-based reason–why this manufacturer of home carbon monoxide detectors felt compelled to warn purchasers that the product is not a substitute for life insurance. If you have any ideas, send them along.

Carbon Monoxide detectors are not a substitute for life insurance. Thought these detectors warn against increasing CO levels, we do not warrant or imply in any way that they will protect lives from CO poisoning.  Homeowners and rents must still insure their lives.

There’s another issue with this warning. Why would any consumer want to buy a carbon monoxide detector that the manufacturer is not willing to warrant, or even “imply in any way,” will protect them from CO poisoning (the advertised purpose and utility of the product).

(All photos are expandable thumbnails.)

Here’s a warning for a power drill, the kind you buy at Home Depot for the purpose of making holes in wood, metal and concrete.

But read up before using, people, because:

This product is not intended for use as a dental drill or in medical applications.

That last part threw me because I have this pain in my side and also this really nice 18-volt hammer drill. I was thinking, why not see what’s going on it there?  I’m glad I read the warning first.

Most people enjoy this warning for the seemingly silly dental drill caution, but I also like this part:

Do not allow familiarity gained from frequent use of your rotary tool to become commonplace.

I know what they’re trying to say, and they do clear it up in the unbolded sentence that follows.  It’s an issue worthy of addressing in product warnings because tons of “cognitive failure” research shows that humans are prone to mental slips when performing tasks, and, perhaps counterintuitively, that the more expert a person becomes in performing a task, the more likely he or she is to commit a mental slip.  Familiarity and confidence breed inattention.

So it’s a well-intended warning, but the bolded sentence doesn’t say what it means.  Essentially, it says don’t let familiarity with the tool become commonplace, which is a non-sequitur.

Sounds like a warning one might expect to find on one of the Weasley twins’ products in the Harry Potter franchise, but this disclaimer on a pack of incense comes from the Muggle world.

First, the incense promises a magical world of mystic knowledge and ecstasy, but the small print at the bottom takes it all back:

Sold as curio only, no magical effects are guaranteed.

To which they might want to add:

If you’re experiencing magical effects, it’s probably not from the incense, but from that other product you’re using the incense to cover up.