Why wait until after?
So you’re reading through the patent entries on the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office website, you know, just for fun, and come across a patent for an invention titled “Method of using a water pipe”:
Bor-ring. But wait. Not so fast. Turns out this inauspiciously titled invention is actually quite interesting:
A water pipe providing sexual stimulation includes a tube with an exit port at its upper end, an reservoir port at its lower end, and an inlet port. The inlet port is spaced from the lower end whereby the inlet port remains exposed when the lower end is inserted into a vagina. The lower end cooperates with the wall of the vagina to form a water reservoir holding water in the lower end and the vagina. A stem is received into the inlet port with an end opening submerged in the water reservoir. Suction applied at the exit port draws air through the stem to bubble through the water reservoir to generate stimulatory vibrations transmitted to the vagina. Optionally, a bowl holding combustible material communicates with the stem such that smoke bubbles through the water reservoir to simultaneously filter and cool the smoke and generate stimulatory vibrations.
“Water pipe”? “Suction”? “Inlet port”? “Combustible material”? “Smoke”? All combined with a sensitive body part?
Is it just because I’m a Torts professor or does this sound like it fails Judge Hand’s risk-utility formula?
— U.S. Patent No. 7,122,000, issued Oct. 17, 2006. Thanks to David Barman.
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