humor Archives - Lawhaha.com - Andrew McClurg's Legal Humor

How To Know If You’re a Small-Town Lawyer

January 31st, 2022

While many law students crave the riches and prestige of Biglaw, small-town lawyering is where the real action is at. But how do you know if you really are a small-town lawyer?

The answer came to me courtesy of former student Jim Jackson, who practices tort law in Arkansas (and generously says he was inspired to pursue that area after taking my Torts and Products Liability courses at the UALR School of Law). He shared a quiz of sorts compiled by a friend named Michael who practices in Crossett, Arkansas. Crossett, on the Louisiana border, is the county seat and has a population of about six thousand. It’s the very

What is this Graphic Warning Sign Trying to Say?

September 10th, 2021

Can you figure out all the things this sign is trying to tell you?

Pictorial or graphic warning and instruction signs and labels are intended to be universally understood. That’s why they exist. There are roughly 6,500 different languages on this planet and space limitations, among other concerns, limit the ability to use multiple languages to explain warnings and instructions.

Many product makers and public space operators do use multiple languages in their warnings, but they generally stick to a few top choices, usually selected by anticipated regional audiences. Dual English and Spanish warnings, for example, are common in the U.S.

The problem is that it’s difficult to

Man Shows Up for Divorce Hearing Bare-Chested and in a Bathing Suit

September 5th, 2020

An important rule for young lawyers to know is that it’s essential to counsel clients to wear appropriate attire to court hearings.

Sometimes clients will come to court, for example, without wearing a suit or tie, but only in Zoom land, and possibly Florida, would a client show up bare-chested and wearing only a bathing suit.

A Florida judge friend received an abject apology from an attorney after her client “showed up” for his final divorce hearing (via Zoom) so attired. The lawyer assured the judge that they always go over with clients the appropriate attire for court hearings.

To her credit, the judge took it all in stride, responding

Wacky Patents: Ohio State Seeks to Trademark “The”

August 14th, 2019

The Ohio State University has filed a patent application for the word “THE”. What THE … !! oops, sorry, don’t want to get a cease and desist letter. But it’s no joke. See Trademark application No. 88571984, filed Aug. 8, 2019. Here’s an article about it.

I knew it would happen someday. Eighteen years ago, in a Harmless Error column in the American Bar Association Journal, I published an intellectual property parody titled The© Controversy, about a made-up cease and desist letter I received claiming a copyright in the word “the”. Here’s an excerpt from the column:

The letter asserts that Mr. Ug—allegedly a Homo

All 50 Harmless Error Columns Right Here

May 1st, 2019

Available for the first time in one place, below is the complete inventory of McClurg’s Harmless Error humor column in the American Bar Association Journal, which ran monthly from October 1997-December 2001.

Many of these columns have been reprinted elsewhere. Caroline Kennedy included Santa Suit (Jan. 2000) in her anthology, A Family Christmas, where it appears alongside works by the likes of Mark Twain, Robert Frost, and Shakespeare. (Use the Contact link for permissions requests.)

Read Reader Praise for Harmless Error.

All fifty columns appear below. Learn more about Harmless Error and get a clickable list of all fifty columns by title and date Read more…

The Amazing One-Day Warranty

November 25th, 2018

“Hurry up and break!”

That’s what you might be saying to your new “Mini Garment Steamer” if you read the User’s Manual and come across this one-day warranty:

“If your product has a manufacture defect, we want to improve your using experience by giving you a replacement or refund. For a minimum of 1 day after the date purchase, we promise to cover any manufacture defects your product may have.” (Bold added.)

There are some other warranties in the manual, so this appears to be more a case of poor drafting than an effort to limit consumer remedies. After all, it doesn’t say a “maximum” of one

Halloween Law

October 31st, 2018

Not Randy Maniloff

Randy Maniloff has penned an interesting piece for the Wall Street Journal on what he calls the “Halloween Exception” to established legal principles. Randy–a leading expert on Halloween law, the “baseball rule,” and other legal topics too numerous to list–discusses several instances where judges have departed from traditional legal principles to facilitate Halloween traditions.

In other words, on Halloween you can get away with mischief that would be criminal or tortious in other seasons. Fascinating.

Here’s one of his examples:

It’s a great read! Check it out.

In other Halloween-related legal news, a former student explored the legal implications of insurance

Warning: Sign Tells Robbers to “Have a Nice Day”

April 22nd, 2018

I’ve always heard that folks in Virginia are nice, and here’s proof, a warning sign to criminals in the window of a Sonic restaurant near the Norfolk airport:

Attention Robbers

Time Delay Safe

Have a nice Day.

I take issue with the unnecessary capitalization of “Day,” and I suppose if they were super-nice, they could have put an exclamation point at the end instead of period. But this is quibbling.

Warning: No Manspreading

June 10th, 2017

From Madrid comes a new pictorial instruction sign (not technically a “warning sign”) on public buses prohibiting “manspreading.” I was not familiar with this term. I thought maybe it was something like this, which I wholeheartedly agree should be banned:

But that’s not it. It’s this:

Okay, this might be worse. Manspreading is the practice of some men to sit with their legs spread on a bus seat, crowding people around them, particularly women, apparently. Whether this is done to protect personal space or intentionally invade someone else’s is not clear from the article.

But as the question always arises with pictorial communicative signs, does

Medical Students Beat Law Students in Song Parody Match-Up

June 8th, 2015

Adding to the ongoing battle for supremacy between the two dominant professions–law and medicine–Lawhaha.com seeks your input as to who does the best song parodies, law students or medical students? Many examples of each populate YouTube, so I just picked the two with the most views.

They’re both impressive and hilarious in my view, but I give the nod to the med students in this particular Fight Club Doctor-Lawyer Parody Video Match-Up.

Law Students (Law School parody of Payphone by Maroon 5) Medical Students (I Don’t Know parody of Let it Go from Frozen) I argued in a law review article that doctors

Warning: No Protection in Texas from Dangerous Farm Animal Activities

April 5th, 2015

From Texas comes this warning sign that:

A farm animal professional is not liable for an injury to or the death of a participant in farm animal activities resulting from the inherent risk of farm animal activities.

First, we notice the evolution of the term “professional” in modern society. Originally, there were only three professions: clergy, lawyers, and doctors. Over time, the number of groups laying claim to the title of a “professional” has expanded to include architects, engineers, pharmacists, et cetera. Add to that list “farm animal professionals.”

Not sure of the history of the referenced statute, but it would be interesting to see if the

Where the First and Second Amendments Intersect

March 21st, 2015

Exercise your First and Second Amendment rights in the same place.

Former student Ben Wilkins took a trip to Somerville, Tennessee to search through deeds from decades past. Now that’s genuine, old-fashioned lawyering.

While there, he snapped this picture, astutely noting that he’d found a place where one can exercise their First and Second Amendment rights at the same time.

–Thanks to Ben Wilkins.

100 % Guarantee

November 25th, 2011

Warranty law has always been fraught with pitfalls for the unwary lawyer. Drafting warranties for modern consumers presents special problems because of their higher expectations. Follow these tips and sample warranty provisions to avoid legal tangles:

Please, Mr. Postman

November 25th, 2011

The “mailbox rule” is an elementary principle of contract law which holds that a contract acceptance is valid upon dispatch in the United States mail.

Some assert that the conveniences of modern technology may soon render the mailbox rule obsolete. For example, already under the emerging “cell phone rule” a contract may be offered, accepted, breached and the offeror verbally abused without ever having to leave one’s car.